Blather

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They have meant a lot and made a bad time a little better.

Sunday and Monday where horrible days, I only wanted to sleep, cry or eat; however, I needed something to do, so I started knitting. You know how I have been knitting a row or two every night for several weeks. Well, I knit as much as I wanted to and didn’t do any housework. I did not feel any better, but at least my fingers were working. Of course, when I got to physical therapy on Tuesday morning my entire arm was hurting, but at least I knew why.

It is amazing how attached I was to Di, I didn’t realize before how much we were together, even in the bathroom, she was where ever I was. Now I look up to talk to her (even though she couldn’t hear) and she is not there. On the weekends, I only got up in the mornings because she needed to go outside and have her medicine, now it feels as though there is no reason to rush down stairs. I feel like I have lost a limb, and I know this will pass, but it is hard to get used to. At least I can write this (almost) without crying, I couldn’t yesterday or the day before. I know she is no longer in pain and that she is much happier where she is, keeping her alive any longer would have been cruel and I am okay with that. I will always have her in my heart, whether she is in my bed keeping my toes warm or not.

I’m sorry, this did not start out to be a sappy post, sometimes I start writing and just keep writing. You should be very happy I just cut myself off.

Have a great evening and knit an extra row for me (as there is no knitting for me for a couple of weeks.)

Goodbye

Well, the day finally came. . . We had to have Di put to sleep this morning and I think it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We had her outside where she was smiling at us and wagging her tail like she was feeling chipper, we brought her back in for meds and food and she had a seizure. It was very sad. I can’t say anymore right now, it hurts too much.

A Rant

Let me say I am sorry for this rant right up front, but it still needs to be said or I will go nuts (not a long trip). It is so ironic. Di is very sick and can go or be put to sleep at any time. However, the vet is afraid that Di is becoming addicted to her hydrocodone. . .

Now granted, she is taking a huge amount of them, she started at one a day last year and now she is at three, three times a day. Where is the freaking sense in this? The dog is more comfortable with the medicine, she actually wants to play for the first time in 3 months, but they are worried about her becoming addicted?!? I don’t think so. This is one of those things that makes me want to pull my hair out or slit my wrists (cyber wrist slitting). Come on, the dog is dying, nothing can be done for her but to make her comfortable so what the hell???
Sometimes I just don’t get it.

Dogs on Thursday, Blather

Since today is Thursday, that means I have to discuss my gluttonous bitch Di. She has started refusing to take her medicine! This is not a good thing as she needs it to be able to breathe, she takes 8 pills in the morning, 4 in the afternoon, and 6 at night; she used to take them right off the spoon as long as there was peanut butter around it and she acted like it was a treat. Now when she sees me at the medicine cabinet, she turns and slinks away to either go upstairs and hide or into DD2’s bedroom where I try not to go. We have tried everything, hiding it in her food, shoving it down her throat, using pill pockets (this one is expensive and she takes way too many pills for it to work and it did not fool her one pit) and even tried getting her to chew up the chewables. I have had to resort to McDonald’s a place I rarely go. I can mix the chewables in with her food and she eats so fast that she doesn’t realize she is eating them, and that takes care of three of her pills. The rest I hide in a piece of the plain old Micky D’s hamburger and she will take that. Before you say anything, I know that this is not a healthy diet for her, but at this point we are trying to make her comfortable so she can breathe, and she is also on Pepcid AC to calm her stomach so getting the meds into her are more important than her diet. The problem with this is that we have had to change her feeding schedule all around so she eats when she needs her meds, and we have to cut way down on the food so she will gobble it up (not that that has ever been much of a problem, hence the nickname gluttonous bitch or GB). My daughters are both say that she is telling me that it is time, but I do not think so yet, but. . .

I had to go for more PT today and when we were through, she told me to be a couch potato with an ice pack for the rest of the day. I told her that sitting on the couch means knitting and she laughed at me and said no knitting. This is killing me. And of course, I received my new yarn from the Mean Girls Yarn club today and my fingers are itching. Do you think that winding the yarn in prep for knitting will qualify as using the arm???

Have a great day and forgive the major typos, the nasty thumb brace sucks!

Gluttonous Bitch

My Di, with all of her medical problems, is a gluttonous bitch. We have a gate on our kitchen (anchored into the wall) that is closed every time we leave the area, or the house. We do this because she and Jack (the male cat) used to work in tandem to open the pantry and get out treats for themselves. We would come home and find the pantry empty and very sick animals. One time she ate several huge Hershey candy bars and we ran her to the vet, they wanted to keep her on an IV for the day, and I was fine with that, but they called me back to come and pick her up within an hour as she was so upset and it was making her heart murmur worse. They said she is better off throwing up at home with me, than be panicked because I am not there. Anyway, that explains why we have a gate on our kitchen, such a fine fashion statement.

We left to go get a pedicure Thursday afternoon, and DD2 had just woken up, I don’t think she was thinking really clearly.:-). I watched her close the gate and heard the latch click, but.. . .

When we got home from the pedicure and errands a couple of hours later, she was sitting by the backdoor (when Di is sitting at the back door when we come home, we know she has been verrry baaaad) and the gate was hanging open. Things looked fine; there was a graham cracker box on the floor from the recycling bin, and a plastic container that we thought held cookies.

Di started vomiting about two or three hours later. She vomited downstairs, on the main level, upstairs, and outside. She was so sick, all she did was lie in my bed and moan and fart (hellacious farts). As we were cleaning up the sick, we realized that the gluttonous bitch ate 7 large muffins, 3 blueberry and 4 cranberry orange. This was after she ate her entire dinner. At first I felt sorry for her, thinking it was part of her heart condition and once I realized what she had done, I was furious, but the poor thing was sooooo sick, what could I do?? So we continued to clean up sick through the next day and it was verrry obnoxious!

Yes, I love my dog, even if she is a glutton! And poor DD2 gets to clean the carpet this week. lolol

Blather and Friday Fill-ins

Yesterday was my lieu day and it was wonderful, exactly how a lieu day should be. Di woke me up at 7 to go out (this was not the best part of the day) so I fed and medicated her and fed the cats and went back to bed. :-) My daughter woke me up mucho later and we went out to the pool to read, float and enjoy the sun. While we were in the back yard, I also played in the garden and cooled off in the pool, then played in the garden some more. I doubt I will get any peppers this year; the storm the other night really did a job on them. I sprayed everything with Sevin, watered, pulled weeds and crossed my fingers that they would at least give me one more pepper. When DD2 had had enough sun (she does not do well in the sun) we went in, showered and went out for a cheap meal (2 for 1 coupon) and when shopping for a few things (soaker hose, tomato cages, and a reciprocating saw). Then I was finally able to knit while we watched TV (I am going to finish that blanket if it kills me lolol). What a relaxing day!

Yesterday made up for this morning, I am verrry cranky and I hate it when I feel like this. Di woke me up at 4am so she could go outside and of course I could not go back to sleep. I feel so sorry for her because she is on so many water pills (3 different kinds several times a day) that I cannot ignore her. I know that if she wakes me up at that hour she has to go, now! I am not even sure if tiredness is the reason for my crankiness, maybe it is just out of whack hormones. OR maybe I am just a moody bitch. GRRRRR

1. Frogging is not the end of the world.

2. Sitting here, listening to the sound of rain falling, I want to get back into my bed with my dog and a book.

3. Nutella tastes so good!

4. Sometimes, putting others first is just the thing to do.

5. Dawn is breathtaking, really.

6. Well, maybe there is a reason for everything(?).

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to bunco, tomorrow my plans include floating, playing in the garden, and knitting and Sunday, I want to do it all again!

Blather and Friday Fill-ins

It is hot here today, maybe because we have had such a mild spring (?). My poor air conditioner is working its heart out and still the upstairs is hot, unless you are sitting under a fan. I guess this is good for the tomatoes though. I think I am going to put up a blow-up pool in the backyard and submerge myself. lolol

I took Di to the cardiologist again yesterday, the place was a madhouse and her blood pressure spiked so she is now on another medicine. I am feeling very cash poor right now, I love my dog and I want her to be as healthy as can be, but the last two visits (a week apart) have come to over a $1000 and I still need to order her arthritis meds. As I said, I am feeling very cash poor. But she is a wonderful dog and companion, she is at my side no matter where I go and no matter how crappy she is feeling.

Here is the picture of the wonderful cake my friend made for the 4th. I just found out it was a recipe from the Barefoot Contessa, now wonder it was so good. I am still knitting one or two rows at a time, I skipped out on the doctor’s appointment and hope that massage will continue to control the pain as much a possible. I should have gone to my appointment and skipped Di’s lololol, as mine would have only been $20 thanks to my wonderful medical insurance, (I recommend insurance to everyone who has pets, you never know what will happen down the road.)


1. The last thing I ate was chicken and rice soup and crackers.

2. Doggy meds is something I recently bought.

3. When it rains, it sprinkles.

4. Di was the first person I talked to today.

5. Hugs are always welcome.

6. I turn the AC down low for extra comfort.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to trying to staying cool and knitting, tomorrow my plans include TAXES and Sunday, I want to play in the garden and knit!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Gee, Mondays are sometimes miserable, aren’t they? And I know that if I eliminated Monday from my week, there would be another day that was just as awful. I guess the alternative (not getting out of bed or breathing) is worse than the day has been so I will smile and pretend as if all of the people who have irritated me did not. Lololol

My daughters and I went to a barbecue at a friend’s house for the 4th of July. She had so much food I couldn’t believe it. In addition, she made a beautiful cake that was delish. However, the weather did not cooperate. I am normally hot, even in the winter I get hot, but Saturday afternoon was sooooo cold I needed a sweat suit to stay warm. Unfortunately, I did not have one with me, but I still enjoyed the company and the food.

Knitting has slowed to an almost stop due to illness and Di; she went to the cardiologist Thursday, and it wasn’t great. I am not depressed, but I am sad and sadness is okay, even if some people do not understand the difference.


Name two things you consider yourself to be very good at:
I am very good at my job, and I am very good at procrastinating :-)

Name two things you consider yourself to be bad at:
I am bad at expressing my feelings and I am bad at cleaning house.

Name one thing not many people know about you:
I am not sure what this might be, but I am guessing that many people do not know that I hate shopping and going to the mall. I prefer to do the shopping that must be done on the internet.

No More Yarn for Me. .

Did you hear the door slamming shut the Tuesday night with a huge bang; that was the door that controls my yarn budget, slamming shut. I took Di to the vet Tuesday evening and we were there for a couple of hours. The result is that there is nothing else he can do for her, he has tapped out on the meds and surgery is not a possibility so he suggested a cardiologist. A doggy cardiologist is just as much as a human cardiologist, only I do not have insurance and a co-pay to cover the visits. lolol Her heart is pressing against her trachea and she eventually just will not be able to breath, but what can I do? We have increased everything to the max dosage, so he is hoping that the cardi will know something better that will relieve the pressure. He also things she has some strain of lupus that is causing her nose to crack and peel, so she has to have sunscreen on her snout when she goes out (and do you know how many times a day a dox on Lasix goes out?); in addition, she is starting to show signs of doggy senility. This whole thing is like a tumbleweed, rolling out of control. Aging is a nasty process isn’t it, for people and for pets.

The whole thing makes me very sad, but I am not depressed, where I plan on slitting my wrists. It is just sad to watch someone I love decline.

Now that we are all nice and sad, I have to tell you I did buy the Maggie Sefton book the other night, but when Di and I got in bed, we decided that we wanted the comfort of the familiar and went for an oooold Nora Roberts, Born in Ice. Maggie Sefton will be for tonight or over the weekend.

I am working away on the one row scarf, it isn’t hurting my arm or wrist, but I am only doing a few rows at a time. I am still working on the baby blanket for the woman at work, but I can only do a couple of rows a night on that one, but at least I am knitting!

Have a great day!

Blather and Friday Fill ins

What a wonderful day! I am healthy and it is my Lieu day! YEAHHHH!

If you remember, we drove to GA because there
was nothing else we could do with Di’s heart condition, couldn’t leave her with a kennel or fly her. In fact, the vet expected her to do better there and I was all prepare to have the guilt trip laid on me about moving her to CO. But. . . she was worse. I had to sit up with her a couple of nights as she could not breath, I finally called our vet (who is great) and he called in another prescription to the local Walgreen’s. The prescription helped her breathing and so we continued our visit. She is now taking 8 pills at night and 7 in the morning. A little extreme, but what else can I do. Now her nose has started peeling and cracking, which looks painful (sort of like my heels in the winter) so my Di is going to the vet next week for another zillion dollar check up. :-) The poor old thing does not realize she is old until she starts playing with Lola and has to stop after a couple of minutes due to her cough.

I wanted to go to Sock Summit, but I did not register in a “timely manner” (a work phrase that I use a lot when chewing someone out politely) so guess what? All the classes I wanted were already gone. I hate it when I procrastinate and miss out on something great! My own fault, but that does not make me feel any better, grrrr. Did any of you get in?

My arm is not hurting, so I am going to go knit for a while. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!


1. It's cold and wintery in the movie theater.

2. I cannot wait until I can taste my tomatoes.

3. My favorite health and beauty product is sleep lol, next it is Cetaphil Moisturizing Lotion, recommended by the dermatologist.

4. Driving to Georgia is a nice long ride.

5. Well, first of all who knows?

6. I can’t remember who was in it; those were the cast of characters in a recent dream and it was very scary.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to knitting and reading, tomorrow my plans include knitting, working in the garden and grilling and Sunday, I want to do the same thing all over again!

Today Does Not Suck!

Well, the carpet is clean and Di is feeling much better. I felt so so sorry for her, she was very sick and she was afraid she was going to get into trouble; Di is such a good dog. My daughter came home with a carpet cleaner Friday night and cleaned the entire mess. I tried doing the hand thing, but Di was having more incidents than I could keep up with (I quit counting after 30 spots). She finally started feeling better (and quit having “incidents”) Saturday morning. Now life can go on. lolololol

I received some great stuff in the mail Saturday; first, I received the Traveling Charity Blanket from the Whodunit group so I can add my four inches of knitting to it. I am using a pastel baby green (this blanket is all pastels another group is using primary colors) and I haven’t quite decided what type of stitch to use, though I am leaning towards a basket stitch. You can see in the picture how pretty Jane’s and Danielle’s portion is, so I have a ways to go to keep it as nice as theirs is. When the blanket has made the rounds, it will be donated to charity, I think there are 4 blankets going the rounds now, one is only crochet, 2 are knitted, and one is a combination. In the package there were also tea, chocolate and stitch markers. Isn't it fun to get good stuff? :-) Now I have to figure out something great to add to the package for the remaining knitters.

I also received
some yarn and a CD from Rita from a contest she held. The yarn is Knit Picks Wool of the Andes and it is a beautiful color, Hyacinth, it is gorgeous. The CD is a signed copy of the Last Train Home, Live at the Iota; I wasn’t sure how I would like it, but it is great. Thank you Rita!

I notice that my last few posts are a lot of grousing, I hate that. A friend told me it was simply my hormones acting my age (I will be 53 next month.) The funny thing is, this is the first year having a birthday is not depressing to me; it doesn’t bother me so why is it bothering my freaking hormones? I guess it is partially the Big M, (ya think?). I will try to keep the whining and grousing to a minimum in the future, I know it is not pleasant to read and it is not anyone else’s fault that I am having hormone issues.

I have been knitting, very little as Di need so much attention, but I am back to it today!

I hope you are having a great weekend!

Whiskers on Wednesday and Blather

The kitties are napping because they are soooo tired from tearing up mama's left over Christmas paper all night.



Last night was a very bad night! Poor Di could not quit coughing (a side effect of the heart failure) and the hydrocodone was not working, even though I tripled her dose. I ended up sitting with her trying to calm her for hours, and she just kept looking at me begging me to make it stop. The oddest thing of the whole night was that she still had the energy to chase Onyx off the bed (though I had to lift her back up on the bed.) This is how I know that she is not ready to leave me yet. She still eats, goes outside, and chases the cats through the house. My eyes are hurting from crying with her all night, but her breathing is much easier today and she wants to play. This is very hard.

I received the yarn I ordered from
Elann today, but now I am too tired to use it, but that company is so fast, I love them. The additional colors are great and blend well with the existing yarn in the scarf. I think I am going to knit tonight, no matter how tired I am, simply because I am excited to see how it works out.

Have you noticed how many people are selecting words of the year instead of resolutions? Why is a word better than resolutions, isn’t it almost the same thing in a general way of thinking? I don’t usually make resolutions or “Words of the Year” because it just sets me up for failure, which is not a good thing. I can feel cruddy enough about what I have or have not done throughout the year. I normally spend this time of year depressed anyway because I am getting older, (March 15) I reflect on failures and aging and how short life is, I have given myself a panic attack a couple of times thinking about the shortness of life (isn’t that stupid). It is funny though, I am sad this year, which I am sure is partly related to our move, but getting older is not as depressing to me this year as it has been in the past. Now, its like, “Oh yeah, another birthday. Will I get good presents?” (My family starts asking what I want for my birthday on Boxing Day, lololol. So I hope I am getting the swift and ball winder I asked for this year.) Yes I know that sounds like a little kids way of thinking, but do any of us ever grow up all the way? And you have to admit that it is fun to open presents. :-)

I have to go give Di some more cough medicine, and make a cake. Toni has made me want chocolate and I ate it all over the weekend. I am sorry if this post is depressing, but that is not how it is meant.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and accomplishing what they want to accomplish.

The Weekend

It is 2.5 freaking degrees right now, the high was 5 today, I have never heard of it being that cold! The windows all have ice and the fire took forever to get going today. It snowed all night and part of the day and it is expected to snow some more on Tuesday. I guess we will have a white Christmas after all, mmmm. . . BTW, I promise not to turn this blog into a weather blog, but I have never lived anywhere that had this kind of weather. I am determined to get used to it though!

I got so PO’ed (pissed off) at the PO (Post Office) (aren’t I a laugh a minute) the other day. As I said I went to the post office and mailed off all of the packages that had been waiting for me to get off my butt. I used the self-serve kiosk and everything went well, so I thought. The next day I returned home from work and found half of the packages on my front step with a stamp that said they needed more postage. What is with that?? How can a self service kiosk make a mistake? I don’t get it! I went back to the PO and asked them what the deal was and they could not give me an answer except to say that I probably clicked the wrong button when selecting package type. This doesn’t make sense to me since I used the same information for all of the packages and only half were returned. However I am not perfect so maybe I should be PO’ed at myself instead of the PO? Nah, I don’t think so :-)

We purchased our Christmas tree yesterday and put it up last night, but it is so pretty that I hate to put anything on it. It is HUGE, 9 feet tall and wonderful. Guess what we will be doing Monday night.

I unpacked two boxes Saturday and decluttered some more stuff (I find more stuff to get rid of every time I unpack another box).
13 4 perfectly good coats that we
have decided we don’t like or don’t fit, though I don’t know why we did not decide this before we moved.
14. Some yarn that I disliked went to Goodwill along with some more knitting needles.
15. A sweater that none of us remember ever wearing.
16. A dress that my daughter wore when she was in middle school (she is 22 now).
17. Old ornaments that were ugly and too heavy to hang on a tree.
18. an oversized container that was falling apart.
19. 4 bed pillows that were old and stinky.
I also posted 15 books on paperbackswap.com. I love that site; I get rid of old books and get new ones for very little cost. I am determined to get all 50 items out of my house by January 1.

I had to take Di to the vet again this weekend, her cough is much worse. The vet showed me the chest x-rays (yes, we get x-rays every time we go) where I could see that her heart has grown at a tremendous rate. It is now almost twice the size it was in July. The vet increased her pain meds for her arthritis and gave us new capsules for the cough. It is very hard to watch someone you love age.

Di and I spent most of Sunday in bed; it is just too cold to be up and about. We got up in the morning and made a wonderful spinach quiche then went back to bed to read. I finished The Pagan Stone, the third in a trilogy by Nora Roberts, I love her books. This book is definitely a keeper and a book I will probably read again. Between the book and eating, I did get to work on some knitting, but I think it is hard to knit in bed (but I still managed to do it).

Tired

I am very tired, but the report is done! I finished it at 3:45 this afternoon, just in time to get it signed off on and forwarded to the demanding department. Now I am almost too tired to breathe and I am cranky and irritable. I yelled at my dog, and am too lazy to switch the laundry. BUT I will be knitting tomorrow, even if I have to call in sick!

Chatter and Friday Fill-ins

It is snowing today and the high is expected to be around 38 degrees. Yuck! My poor Di decided it is too cold to go out so I had to go out with her, brrr. She told me that the snow hurts her knees and she did not appreciate being forced down the stairs and out the door in the dark of the morning. I told her that I did not appreciate being woken up in the night to lift her heavy ass (60 lbs) back into bed as she is now refusing to jump into bed. We laughed and hugged and she did her duty and I did mine (I sound like a whack job don’t I, but yes, I do talk to my dog and she talks back.)

I am starting (yes I have startitis) a new scarf for my daughter’s boyfriend, he is a nice guy and it the first boyfriend she has had in a zillion years that I appreciate. I am using Elann Highland Chunky and am doing it in a ribbing pattern on 15 needles. I love doing scarves because they are something I can do while playing cards, reading blogs, or watching TV and it appears that we will need them with the weather here in Colorado. In Georgia, we would get maybe one day of snow all year and it wasn’t terribly cold in the winter, but here. . .

Don’t forget to enter my contest here, I just went to my new LYS and bought some very nice stuff to give away, so it isn’t just stash, (however I like getting stash).

1. Please feel free to donate to a worthy cause, there are so many hungry people in the world right now.
2. When I buy a new candle I can't help sniffing it occasionally.
3. My favorite thing to cook is anything my family will eat.
4. Chocolate is something I can't get enough of.
5. That's the thing I love most about the beach.
6. Rude people always makes me think to myself, what the heck?
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to knitting, tomorrow my plans include meeting some cousins I have not seen for 30 years and Sunday, I want to knit and make bread in my new bread machine!

Dogs on Thursday

Di can no longer lay like this, and her snout is almost totally white, but she is still my baby!

My dog, Di, who is also my baby, is in very poor health. She has mitral valve prolapse (heart condition) arthritis, and the vet suspects she has a cancerous growth on her rump that cannot be removed due to her heart condition. When I got home yesterday, her hips where splayed across the floor and she could not get up without help, but I took her for a walk and she thought she was a puppy again. She is a happy dog, and loves to get into anything she is not supposed to be in, i.e. chocolate (she had a miniature Kit-Kat for breakfast). I know that Di is feeling poorly most of the time because she has quit chasing the cats and allows them to get on the bed with us, even Onyx (she hates Onyx). She plays with Lola for a few minutes and then has to stop and rest. Right now, we are just trying to keep her comfortable and give her the quality of life she deserves.

I am not writing this to make anyone sad, because for the most part she is happy and does not realize how sick she is, nevertheless, I know her time in this life is short. Last night she coughed around midnight-thirty and then lay perfectly still (and scared the crud out of me). I pushed her and tried to get her to move, but she was sound asleep; however, I kept waking up afraid that she had died. Now I know this sounds horrible, but I was afraid to find out, she was so still (normally she would have woken me up to get under the covers). Finally, at o dark-thirty, I got up and woke her up and she looked at me as if I was crazy. She said, “Ma, what’s the problem, I am sleeping here!” and went right back to sleep. I couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night.

I think tonight I will take a sleeping pill.