Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Blather

Thank you to everyone for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. They have meant a lot and made a bad time a little better.

Sunday and Monday where horrible days, I only wanted to sleep, cry or eat; however, I needed something to do, so I started knitting. You know how I have been knitting a row or two every night for several weeks. Well, I knit as much as I wanted to and didn’t do any housework. I did not feel any better, but at least my fingers were working. Of course, when I got to physical therapy on Tuesday morning my entire arm was hurting, but at least I knew why.

It is amazing how attached I was to Di, I didn’t realize before how much we were together, even in the bathroom, she was where ever I was. Now I look up to talk to her (even though she couldn’t hear) and she is not there. On the weekends, I only got up in the mornings because she needed to go outside and have her medicine, now it feels as though there is no reason to rush down stairs. I feel like I have lost a limb, and I know this will pass, but it is hard to get used to. At least I can write this (almost) without crying, I couldn’t yesterday or the day before. I know she is no longer in pain and that she is much happier where she is, keeping her alive any longer would have been cruel and I am okay with that. I will always have her in my heart, whether she is in my bed keeping my toes warm or not.

I’m sorry, this did not start out to be a sappy post, sometimes I start writing and just keep writing. You should be very happy I just cut myself off.

Have a great evening and knit an extra row for me (as there is no knitting for me for a couple of weeks.)


5 comments:

Grace said...

i will gladly knit a few rows for you and Di

Sarah said...

ok, thanks for makin me cry today i'd yet to cry about it.

DD2

Liz said...

Ditto to DD2's comment.

love you lots,
lizzy

rita said...

When I was sick (CFS for over 5 years) I wouldn't have gotten out of bed (other than to go to work) ever if I hadn't had three dogs that needed to go outside and be fed. They were high-strung little dogs, but they adapted their personalities and needs to mine and would sleep next to me and be very quiet and well-behaved. When I was cold or hurting, Pookie would snuggle up to me at just the right place. I still miss her; she's been gone for 3 years.

Zippy is another one of those velcro dogs. Yep, in the bathroom? He's right there nudging my hand to rub his head.

Di was beautiful, Georgi. You'll see her again. She might even come to visit you; all of my dogs have at least once or twice, in dreams that are too real to be dreams. I'm so happy when that happens.

Cin said...

I too will gladly knit a few rows for you. Hubby is coming home from work today with Jake's latest prescription for his arthritis. The last time we were at the vet he got inside and could not get up off the floor. It was so sad. They had to use a sheet to make a sling to lift his back legs up from under him. He's on a new med and it is expensvie. A lot of people have commented that they would never pay that for a dog. They have no idea who they are talking about it. He is no dog to us. Just like Di was no dog to you. She was a member of your family and you would not deny a family member meds! Just like I can't deny Jake his meds that make him feel a bit better!

Thinking of you everytime I look at Jake!