Saturday, November 7, 2009

My Sister Toni

I am sorry I have been an absentee blogger; however, we came home from vacation last week (Saturday) and I got all the laundry done when I received a phone call telling me my sister had passed away, I had to repack immediately and fly to California. I was in shock as no one had contacted me to tell me that she had been ill. Turned out that none of her kids or my other sister thought she was that bad, everyone was in shock! In fact, they all thought she would be released from the hospital on the following Monday. Toni had not been comfortable in her life since her first stroke and she had been in assisted living for several months, she was in emotional and physical pain and there wasn’t anything we could do to make her happier or more comfortable. Life was hard for Toni, she was bipolar and anorexic, plus she had many other emotional and physical issues. I will always miss her, but part of me wonders if she is happier now that she is with our mother, whom Toni has missed dreadfully since she died 27 years ago. It is always hard to lose someone you love, but is it sometimes kinder to let them go when they no longer want to be here??

I am now back in Colorado and I miss Toni and I know her kids do also, though they are all grown and on their own. It does not seem right for a sister younger than me (15 months) to be gone before me. Because we were so close in age we were raised almost as though we were twins, we dressed alike, shared clothes, received the same presents on the holidays and hung out together until we married and I moved out of state. I wish that I had called her more and sent her more emails.

7 comments:

Grace said...

so sorry to hear of your loss, my dad was the youngest of 7 and the first to die at age 60 his older sibs had a hard time with that part of it too. My prayers are with you Georgi!

trek said...

So sorry.

Marissa said...

Georgi, I am so sorry. Be well.
Marissa

Cin said...

I am so sorry to hear about your family's loss. It is so easy though to say that you wish you would have done things differently. I am so sue you did the best you could! After all you are a wonderful caring person. Your sister knew that and now like you said, she is with your mom.

Thinking of you!

rita said...

Oh Georgi, I am so sorry. I simply cannot comprehend the pain. One of my sisters is only 15 months younger than I am, and she's my twin. I cannot imagine life without her or my other two sisters.

A couple of weeks ago I dreamed that one had died. It hurt so badly. I can't imagine how awful the reality is.

smariek said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

N. Maria said...

Oh, Georgi, I am so sorry for your family's loss.
Sending you many hugs from WA,
Maria H